Well in my house we have very few rules. Clean up after yourself and if you are the last one to finish something put the empty item away.
Audree and Douglas go to ex-streams not to be the one to finish something. For example I made vinegar cucumbers the other day. They loved it but when it got down to the last cucumber they left it in the container and put it at the back of the counter, so I wouldn’t notice it. Audree does the dishes BUT the only dishes that get done are the ones I put in the sink. None on the counter. None on the stove. None on the table. We don’t even clean up the sink after we are done. So with this in mind, when was the cucumbers going to be found and the container washed? I found it within a couple of days, so I thought to myself how long would it take for someone else to do something with it, it’s only vinegar and water so there’s no nasty smell that would come from it. Lets see! A few days later I noticed that the container was on the stove and that the last cucumber was gone. Hmm, wonder who? So I waited until that night and asked Audree if she finished it, she said yes. The most logical next question was… Why didn’t you dump out the vinegar and put the container in the dishwasher to wash when you were doing the dishes (oh yeah did I forget to mention that we have a dishwasher to wash dishes she doesn’t have to do them by hand. Picture getting any clearer?) since you emptied it? “I don’t know, cause.” “So Daddy ate them down to one (1), and you finished them off and moved the container to the back of the stove and left it sit there even though you were doing the dishes when you finished them off.” “Yeah.”
Where the loan cucumber was found
The loan Cucumber.
Doug has gotten so bad about things that instead of putting his dirty dishes in the sink he sits them where ever, counter, table, leaves them in the living room and in his bed room. So I get to go around the house to play hide and seek with the dishes. Audree is just as bad except she just leaves them on the counter and table. Guess what? Yep you’re right I get to round them all up and put them in the sink, cause if I don’t they don’t get washed. Yes, I do realize that this is all my fault, but I don’t understand how it got THIS bad. For the last 20 years with Doug I have asked him to put his stuff where it belongs. But he won’t. Then he bitches at me that I hid his stuff on purpose. Wow, about a month ago I was cleaning up like I always do. Putting his stuff to the right side of his bed in his bed room so I could run the sweeper and clean everything else up. Well he comes in the house throwing one hell of a hissy fit demanding to know where I put his shoes. “I put them to the right side of your bed in your room. Where I always put your stuff. Why?” “I can’t find them.” “So you think I hid them from you just to piss you off?” “YES” His answer really just blew my mind. What was I supposed to think or do? He actually thinks I am out to get him and piss him off on purpose. REALLY? After 20 years. I took three to four days of this crap till I asked him “When was the last time you remember having them on?” “I was washing my bike, then I washed them off, cause they were really nasty, I came in and sat at the table and took them off …… then I put them on top of the water heater to dry.” “Oh you did, did you. But I thought I was hiding them on purpose just to make you mad.
Oh dear I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, I’m sorry. “ “oh yeah, sorry” Then he walks off to get his shoes. REALLY you weren’t going to say a word, just leave me hanging there.
Here’s one about Audree that sticks with me. She had so much homework that she wasn’t going to be able to go trick or treating (her fault cause she didn’t bring the stuff home till it was due the next day) I made her a deal “If you get through the work with no fussing or drifting off into space I will go buy you some candy.” She agreed. We got through the work with very little problems. She started doing the dishes and I left for the store. I bought 2 big bags of candy. I walked in she was still doing the dishes. I was a little put off and I asked her if she was watching TV instead of doing the dishes, then when you herd me get home you started the dishes again? She said no and Douglas agreed that she was steady doing the dishes. Alright then, here’s the candy and you have to share it with your father. Set the bags on the counter and knocked over an empty can of Mountain Dew. This was strange cause her sister was here today and left 2 almost full ones and one half full. I shook all 3 cans, they were all bone dry. Thought… what the hell? Looked at Audree and said, “You fooled your Dad, instead of just doing the dishes like you were supposed to do you drank all 3 Mountain Dews? WHY?“ (keep in mind it is 8:00 pm Wednesday the 31st of October, school the next morning and bed time is at 9:00 and we can’t drink after 7:00 cause we still wet the bed) “You know that you are not allowed Mountain Dew, and you can’t drink after 7pm. WHY?” “I don’t know.” as she pouts for sympathy. She knows that , that crap only makes stuff worse with me.
I realize this is all my fault but seriously how can I stop it. At one point I quit doing EVERYTHING for them all I got was I was YOU ARE SO LAZY you can’t even clean the house. I still vacuumed. I still cooked. I just didn’t pick up their stuff. Well they only got worse. They each have their own rooms I don’t I sleep on the couch in the living room. Their crap started over loading the living room and kitchen. WOW what an extra mess. Guess what it was all my fault, I was too lazy to clean the house.
Audree has been raised to clean up her own messes too, she would rather leave it lay until I see it and then get hollered at and grounded instead of cleaning it up and getting a good job. Her birthday is coming up and it is the BIGGIE 13 finally a teenager. I would like to do a spa type sleep over/day with 3 of her friends. In the last 3 months all she does is disrespect me (not listen, total attitude toward me. I don’t even have to say anything to her, let alone if I would. Back at the beginning of October I CLEANED out her room, she thought she was being sneaky and only leaving the garbage behind. She left more than she thought. Therefore every day before bed I tell her to clean up her room, fold, hang and put away laundry. Dirty in basket, if dirty is in a basket I will come pick it up wash it and put the basket on her bed with the clean laundry in it. That worked for about 2 weeks or so, she did even hang the clothes up, and even folded them into her dresser. Now it is ankle-deep with clean, dirty whatever she feels like throwing on the floor.
I told her what I wanted to do for her and 3 friends for her birthday, she loved the idea. I also explained that she needs to show me some respect or I refuse to do the spa day for her. She choose to show respect. Well this morning the grand kids were here and she just refused to do what she is supposed to do. Meds, breakfast, get dressed and don’t get the girls screaming because she is doing something they don’t like. WELL, 2 hours straight they were screaming. I’d tell her to put them down and leave them alone and she would immediately start picking on them again. WTF?
Some one please help! I’ll take any ideas. I know all this is my fault not staying on top of the problems when they started or not making her do her chores correctly at the start, but on my behalf THEY all said pick your battles. Cleaning MY way didn’t really matter as long as it got cleaned up NOW It doesn’t get done any way. The attitude well that wasn’t so bad then, if they were upset I would let them talk to me in an upset way. NOW they are just getting nasty, bitchy.
PLEASE HELP ME!